R2I - 1 Year and counting (Part 1)
Posted on October 10th, 2007 by Chitra
Yes folks, it has been a year since we returned. We flew into Bangalore in the early hrs of Oct 8th 2006. And there is only one word to describe how I feel after a year - bittersweet!
- 6 months ago I said that I miss the roads, sidewalks, libraries, parks, and doctors. I still miss them. No changes there.
- I have had a lot more time on my hand to do what I want, since R2Iing. For example, photography (flickring) and writing (blogging). How is this possible? Because the grandparents are ever so willing to watch the kids. And I have enjoyed both these activities. The online bumping into fellow bloggers and flickrites has been a pleasure.
- 6 months ago, I had listed the availability of manual labor in India as a plus. While that is still true, I got real tired of the maid after a few months; her timings, her tongue, her attitude. I had actually tried to be very fair to her knowing that she doesn’t have any education, proper family background etc. I would give her about 5-6 days off every month, give her food, and other things of use like clothes and shoes. Having never been used to a maid etc, since hub and I set up shop for the first time in the US, I didn’t have experience of handling a maid by myself! So, what did I do, I let her go! I am so much more happier doing everything by myself - now when I can. I am able to do this because we stay quite close to my folks, and they can easily watch the kids while I go about my chores. The good thing is I actually find cleaning and scrubbing therapeutic.
Of course, it is true that I would have had to keep a maid if I were working out of the house. So, women, if you are R2Iing, and if you do not find a maid of your choice, it can be a little frustrating. Beware. - Here’s an intangible R2I effect, that which has no clear logic or anything. Both husband and I have a very good sense of belonging. My hub knew that is what he would get when he returned, I didn’t really know when I came back. He knew it because he has R2Ied for a brief while a long time ago too (before we had even met) and he had experienced that feeling then. For me, though he had told me this earlier, I didn’t really know what to expect. But, I do like that I *belong*. I feel one with the place, with the people, with the flora, with the culture, with the colors, with the sounds (sometimes too loud, but!), with the way the day breaks (!), with the nice cheerful weather for most of the year!!!
- I didn’t say this when I wrote my ‘6 months later’ post. But, I hate the glum, moody, dark winters. They mess up my mind too much. I would be happy and fine during the 15 hrs long days of Cali summers and when the leaves would start falling, I would practically brace myself for the dark, short days of winters. I hated the very few hours of sunshine. I have enjoyed the beautiful hours of daylight in India all through the year! It makes it very cheerful for everybody. And of course, I do not miss having to pad the kids up, and watch out for all kinds of winter infections, and dealing with them by myself. The kids have fallen sick here too, but I have never felt desolate. When either of the children would fall sick there in the US, I would feel helpless and pretty down. I enjoy that I don’t experience that here. The place is not too quiet, so it kind of keeps negative feelings from entering the mind (?!!!). I don’t know. But, I love having the support of family when it comes to the kids.
- There is too much of exuberance in the air and in all walks of life here in Bangalore and in India. Everybody is either really young or getting younger! For example, the movies only seem to have upbeat numbers; the ones I get to listen to on the radio. There is more money than ever before, which makes it look like life is a breeze, almost! Sometimes, I get the urge to go back to Cali to just chill and stay sedate!!! Can you believe that? India is an old country with an old civilization and I can practically see it being reborn again, so it seems really young. While that may be an appeal, it has its tiring moments too.
- The other intangible emotion also is that I miss Cali, more than ever. The feeling of missing Cali is a like an alien being that invades me at times, where I miss my days there, the drives, the beautiful rolling hills, the horizon to horizon view from the freeways, the fantastic freeways. And everything else.
This was written in no particular order, and I haven’t really segregated the plus from the minus. I am just writing down my thoughts. There’s more to come and that will be in my next post. As you can see, there is the plus, the minus, and everything in between. The idea was to capture the emotions and the feelings. And there is only one word that best describes it, bittersweet! So, at the end of the post I am telling it all in the same breath and that is exactly how it is; everything together, and all at once. Can you get that? Do let me know. Please also feel free to share your experiences.
Filed under: weather, Children, R2I, Bangalore
[…] Yes folks, it has been a year since we returned. We flew into Bangalore in the early hrs of Oct 8th 2006. And there is only word to describe how I feel after a year - bittersweet! Read it here. […]
I discovered your blog through Metroblog Bangalore, and I noticed that you lived in the same area of California that I do! I was going to offer to send you a pic of the SC library since that is where I live. Anyway- I have been reading because we are going to be moving to Bangalore and I guess it has been a comfort for me to read about what you appreciate about B’lore as well as what you miss about Cali! Be happy today! I woke up to rain and grey skies… Let me know if you still want that library photo
It’s nice to read your R2I experiences. We’re planning on moving to Hyd next summer and it’s good to know the perspective from the other side of the lake. It seems like going with the right expectations is the key to a successful transition. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
i have already imagined what you will write in 0ct. 2009: And there is only one word to describe how I feel after 2 years - sweetu-khaara/b>
just joking.
great to know that you completed 1 yr! seen offlate that lots of families after staying abroad are R2I. feels great for the parents and the siblings here.
this blog is truly a ‘margadarshi’ for all those returning back.
best wishes
rk
Hey Chitra, your r2i anniversary is my wedding anniversary. 19 years on Monday! phew. I can’t imagine putting down the pluses and minuses.
Time does fly…. Sep 26th 2007 was Year 12 for us
Hi!
That was a nice post. We are going to be there in India..Bangalore by December and I just can’t wait to be there. Anyway from the time I had come to France I had wanted to get back to India. I just hope things turn out good and I am sure it will. And for the maids.;even I feel I am going to end up doing stuffs as that is more easier than waiting for them. I have already thought of buying very powerful vaccum cleaners and stuffs hehehe…Keep blogging!!
Cindy, welcome to my blog. There are quite a few Californians in Bangalore on work. So, you may easily find company here.
Feel free to email me if you have specific questions. Pl send me a pic of the lib only if you are going to be going out of your way. Thanks! 
Thanks Vijaya. Welcome to my blog.
Thanks RK. Yes a lot of families are coming back. BTW, that would be Oct 2008.
Hey Lufffiieee, good to ’see’ you! What an achievement. Happy belated anniv. WTG!
Vijay, wow can’t even imagine that far ahead for us.
Aargee, happy packing.
You never know, maybe you will hit the jackpot with the maid. :))
Very helpful and honest post. I miss India and want to return, but worry about what I will miss about London
Look forward to more.
Once we only read about Indians writing about their experiences in the west, and westerners’ accounts about India. Your blog symbolizes a new trend — of Indians coming back to India and rediscovering their home with the wealth of global perspective and experience. Cross-continental movements are happening in every possible way.
Since some 20 years I have been hearing about global village. In fact, for my PG Mass Comm exam I had a question on it. But then it was just in a conceptual stage. Today we are actually seeing it. And your blog typifies one form of the new life the global village actually provides.
Hi
I have to say this..Congratulations!! Blogging for a whole straight year is not easy. Blogging for a whole straight year with a lot of other changes going on in ur life just shows perserverance!! After months of procrastination I have finally started blogging too. Do visit me and tell me what you think.
Well,
I have to say one thing.
More things you see in life which are good, you are going to miss them.
Do you make conscious choice?
How you can tell?
I am in USA for last 15 years and interested to know, what you have in India that is possible in USA also. You thought it was not possible while in USA.
Chitra
Great blog. I have friends who successfully r2ied. One of them said it is like an addiction :). The first year of R2I, you basically want to take the plane and go back.
And then once you accept the situation, life is way smoother. I guess the toughest part in R2I is the 1st year. Congratulations for crossing it.
anand
Went through mixed feelings as I was reading about ur b’lore life. I’ve been reading experiences of ppl who have returned to Bangalore from the USA. We are in that consfused state of mind. Since our child is 8 we r not so sure. Want to but how is the question in front of us.
Good one Chitra! Congrats on your 1 year mark. I like it this way… all in one breath just the way it is. Just reading this is making me long for India and the beautiful weather. It is getting colder by the day here and darker soon…~sigh~ Winters are dreadful and boring! I definitely wont miss this when i come back (crossing my fingers)!
Waiting for u’re next post.
[…] Yes folks, it has been a year since we returned. We flew into Bangalore in the early hrs of Oct 8th 2006. And there is only word to describe how I feel after a year - bittersweet! Read it here. […]
Hey Are you ok?
Where is part 2?! Hope all is well.
Hi Chitra,
We returned from the same area in Feb 2007. yes, we still miss cali.
Nice to read your blogs.
Rgds
Mohan
I am here thro RK’s blog nice to see your R2I experience and it is also refreshing to see so many are now plans or have returned to R2I.
your post is superb and I am glad to read the whole one.
wish you much more success and many more glories
pranesh
[…] Returned to Bangalore, India reflects on being back in the country for a year now. Share This […]
[…] Chitra looks back on her decision to move back to India after a […]
Hi Chitra,
Found your blog through a link to your post about Bangalore Schools that showed up in a mailing list for our apt complex.
We returned back to India (Bangalore) a year and half ago from Bay area (Fremont), and I can totally relate to your thoughts and experiences. Though my wife and I both work full time and dont have enough time to do all the things we want to do, we still end up doing some things that are dear to us.
I miss California a lot as well! After spending almost 15 years in bay area, its something that becomes a part of you. Just like we used to re-create “India”n environment there, I think many of us are ending up re-creating some of the tangibles and intangibles of California and bayarea.
Good blog, added to my subscription list.
Best,
Gowri
R2I’ed in May 2007. Come every winter, we don’t miss MD/MI at all and all that changes when summer comes around. The other thing we miss is paying all of our bills online automatically and just reconciling our bank statements at the end of the month. What a simple chore there and what a nightmare here. But then there is family…
ChaloHyd,
I understand about the online bill pay part. But, a lot of the banks do offer on-line bill pay for most of the common utilities. I know for a fact that ICICI and Citibank does. I use the ICICI one myself (This is for utilities in Bangalore).
-Raj
[…] months ago I wrote the part 1 of how things were after a year of R2Iing. And here’s the 2nd part, a “tad” […]
Hi,
Thanks for posting your experiences. My wife and I are seriously cosidering return to India. It was interesting to note that you hated California winters. Having lived in Wisconsin for 10 years, we would kill for a California winter. I guess the escaping Milwaukee winter alone would be a reason good enough to return to India.
Ganesh
Me and my husband are planning to R2I.My husband is very happy he always loved life in india.I know i am going to miss USA a lot driving,library.I hate winters here in Albany,NY.I am very confused and dont know how i am going to feel in india.
Sheetal
Hi Chitra,
It was good to read your experiences in Bangalore. We are also planningto move to Bangalore in the next month or so! Similar status as yours was when you moved. Hubby and I in our early 30s, living in Fremont, Calif; 2 little kids..
I don’t know why, I feel you echo most of the sentiments, experiences that I am guessing I will have when I return to Bangalore as well. !! Keeping my fingers crossed..
Oh yes, your tips and suggestions on moving will be a big help.. Thank you!!
Regards,
Anu
We finally decided for R2I.I am very happy and finally i made my mind.Can’t wait more here.Cleared interview and will be joining Patni Bangalore from 15th june.My husband will be joining me after 2months.Could anyone tell me how is work culture ?