R2I-Returned to Bangalore

Yes folks, it has been a year since we returned. We flew into Bangalore in the early hrs of Oct 8th 2006. And there is only one word to describe how I feel after a year - bittersweet!

• 6 months ago I said that I miss the roads, sidewalks, libraries, parks, and doctors. I still miss them. No changes there.
• I have had a lot more time on my hand to do what I want, since R2Iing. For example, photography (flickring) and writing (blogging). How is this possible? Because the grandparents are ever so willing to watch the kids. And I have enjoyed both these activities. The online bumping into fellow bloggers and flickrites has been a pleasure.
• 6 months ago, I had listed the availability of manual labor in India as a plus. While that is still true, I got real tired of the maid after a few months; her timings, her tongue, her attitude. I had actually tried to be very fair to her knowing that she doesn’t have any education, proper family background etc. I would give her about 5-6 days off every month, give her food, and other things of use like clothes and shoes. Having never been used to a maid etc, since hub and I set up shop for the first time in the US, I didn’t have experience of handling a maid by myself! So, what did I do, I let her go! I am so much more happier doing everything by myself - now when I can. I am able to do this because we stay quite close to my folks, and they can easily watch the kids while I go about my chores. The good thing is I actually find cleaning and scrubbing therapeutic. Of course, it is true that I would have had to keep a maid if I were working out of the house. So, women, if you are R2Iing, and if you do not find a maid of your choice, it can be a little frustrating. Beware.
• Here’s an intangible R2I effect, that which has no clear logic or anything. Both husband and I have a very good sense of belonging. My hub knew that is what he would get when he returned, I didn’t really know when I came back. He knew it because he has R2Ied for a brief while a long time ago too (before we had even met) and he had experienced that feeling then. For me, though he had told me this earlier, I didn’t really know what to expect. But, I do like that I *belong*. I feel one with the place, with the people, with the flora, with the culture, with the colors, with the sounds (sometimes too loud, but!), with the way the day breaks (!), with the nice cheerful weather for most of the year!!!
• I didn’t say this when I wrote my ‘6 months later’ post. But, I hate the glum, moody, dark winters. They mess up my mind too much. I would be happy and fine during the 15 hrs long days of Cali summers and when the leaves would start falling, I would practically brace myself for the dark, short days of winters. I hated the very few hours of sunshine. I have enjoyed the beautiful hours of daylight in India all through the year! It makes it very cheerful for everybody. And of course, I do not miss having to pad the kids up, and watch out for all kinds of winter infections, and dealing with them by myself. The kids have fallen sick here too, but I have never felt desolate. When either of the children would fall sick there in the US, I would feel helpless and pretty down. I enjoy that I don’t experience that here. The place is not too quiet, so it kind of keeps negative feelings from entering the mind (?!!!). I don’t know. But, I love having the support of family when it comes to the kids.
• There is too much of exuberance in the air and in all walks of life here in Bangalore and in India. Everybody is either really young or getting younger! For example, the movies only seem to have upbeat numbers; the ones I get to listen to on the radio. There is more money than ever before, which makes it look like life is a breeze, almost! Sometimes, I get the urge to go back to Cali to just chill and stay sedate!!! Can you believe that? India is an old country with an old civilization and I can practically see it being reborn again, so it seems really young. While that may be an appeal, it has its tiring moments too.
• The other intangible emotion also is that I miss Cali, more than ever. The feeling of missing Cali is a like an alien being that invades me at times, where I miss my days there, the drives, the beautiful rolling hills, the horizon to horizon view from the freeways, the fantastic freeways. And everything else.

This was written in no particular order, and I haven’t really segregated the plus from the minus. I am just writing down my thoughts. There’s more to come and that will be in my next post. As you can see, there is the plus, the minus, and everything in between. The idea was to capture the emotions and the feelings. And there is only one word that best describes it, bittersweet! So, at the end of the post I am telling it all in the same breath and that is exactly how it is; everything together, and all at once. Can you get that? Do let me know. Please also feel free to share your experiences.

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